Failed Courtship
by quietlykissingdeath
Summary: England attempts to court North Italy.
1. Part 01

England fidgeted nervously in front of the Italian's home. After failing to knock multiple times now, he resorted to pulling at his tie and glancing around. He couldn't just out right leave without trying with his brothers hiding in the bushes. The nation was just about to turn around and leave when he caught Scotland's eye and the other made a threatening motion toward him. Guess he was staying put.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked; and prayed that the Southern half wouldn't answer the door. The loud cussing he heard through the door after had him turning and glaring at the Scot before turning back in time to see Romano opening the door.

The darker skinned Italian glared at him, "The fuck you want you bastard?"

Swallowing at the glare aimed at him, England cleared his throat, "May I speak to Veneziano please?"

The ticking of silence with Romano's glare aimed at him, almost had England fidgeting in his spot again. He did release a sigh of relief when the other went back inside, the door closing with a soft click.

Blinking, the Brit couldn't tell if he was turned away or if he was supposed to wait. Looking back at the others for advice, they all shrugged. Scotland just shook his head and motioning for them to leave.

Just as he was half-way down the steps, he heard the door swing open and a call, causing him to whip around to find Veneziano bounding over to him. Oh dear, in only a shirt as well it appeared. Though he didn't let his gaze linger on the Italians legs seeing as Romano appeared to be fuming in the open doorway.

"England! You wanted to talk si?"

The Italian appeared to be in a chipper mood as he rolled on the balls of his feet and smiled up at England.

It took England almost a minute to get his bearings and cough to clear his throat, "Ah, yes I did actually. This isn't a bad time is it?" He questioned with a glance to Romano who was still glaring with a frown pulling his lips down.

"Si! Don't mind Romano, he's just being grumpy again."

"I am not!"

Veneziano just tilted his head with his tongue sticking out at his brother, who fumed and turned his head away but didn't leave his station at the door.

England gulped as Veneziano's attention turned back to him.

"Ah, I was wondering…if you, perhaps," _Oh dear Queen_, he was stuttering. How was he able to talk to the other nation easily just weeks before and now he could barely speak without feeling his heart hammering in his chest?

_Here goes nothing old champ_. Taking a deep breath, England felt the words rush out, "you wanted to go to eat sometime?"

He felt like a fool, not only did he seem to have rushed his words out to an unintelligible phrase but the Southern half's glare had intensified and his posture _just screamed_ 'interference'.

England could feel the sweat forming at the collar of his shirt as he waited for a reply.

"Okay!"

Wait, what?

"Pardon me?"

Veneziano giggled, "Sure! It'd be fun to go. OH! Will Norway be coming to?"

_Oh… _"Of course he will, I'll contact him and remind him."

"Ya~y. Next week then?"

"Yes, next week will work."

With a smile, the nation leaned up and placed a kiss on both of England's cheeks before he turned and headed back inside, the older of the two glaring before slamming the door in his face.

"Well. That didn't work as planned." Scotland drawled as he came up to stand beside the Brit.

"…He didn't even realize I was asking him on a date…"

"But his brother did!" Wales piped up, only to get a fist slammed onto his head by the Scot.

Taking a puff of his cigarette, Scotland breathed it out, "Try one."


	2. Part 02

"Alright, so the dinner date failed. What're you gonna try now?"

"You just want to see me fail you damn Scot." England grumbled as he nursed a beer.

Scotland was right though, the date failed. The dinner itself went splendidly. He definitely had to give credit to Norway for attempting to get out of going to the dinner, unfortunately the other Nordics where around and pushed him to go. It was still nice. The three of them enjoyed their time together, and there wasn't even any spying from neither of their families!

The time was spent avoiding talking about work and focused more on their personal lives. England had gotten Norway to twitch a smile and Veneziano laugh when he told them about the shenanigans that his brothers had been pulling during their stay at his house.

Norway had gloated about getting Iceland to call him big brother a few times a day, and went on to describe the latest fight between Denmark and Sweden that had gotten blood spilt until Finland had put the two in their place to avoid any more damage or injuries to each other.

The thought of Finland betting the two Nordics had both Veneziano and England shivering.

When it was Veneziano's turn, he complained about Romano keeping him locked up. He wasn't allowed to go anywhere unless he got permission from his brother or the people he wanted to go see came and got him, otherwise Romano would be there and making everything awkward. _He did it to Germany and Japan last week_; Veneziano had stated with a pout.

The fact shocked the two nations, neither having it pass through their minds that Romano would go as far as keeping his brother inside and apparently threatening those he would be around.

The topic of conversation had thankfully changed into much lighter tones for the rest of the evening.

A solid smack to the cranium brought England back to the present as he turned to glare at Scotland who just raised a brow at him, "Pay attention. We still gotta figure out what'cha gonna do next."

"And what bright ideas do you have?" England grunted as he crossed his arms.

"Why not invite him to lunch or tea?" Three pairs of eyes blinked and turned to stare at Wales who fidgeted under their gazes.

"Whaaaaaaat?"

"Brilliant idea, I'll go give him a call now."

With that the nation turned and headed inside to give a call.

Once he was on the phone and listening to the ringing, he started to have second thoughts. What if Romano answered and said no? What if he already made plans?

Shaking his head, England took a breath; he was just over reacting is all.

The phone on the other line being answered kept him from going deeper into his thoughts.

"The hell you want bastard."

And of course it had to be the Southern half that answered.

"Hello to you to Romano. May I speak to Veneziano please?"

A grunt had been his answer to the greeting, now he waited in silence for an answer to his question. He contemplated hanging up as the silence dragged on and was just about to set down the phone when noise started up on the other end.

"Hello?" A smile twitched at England's lips as he heard the breathy voice of Veneziano travel through the speaker.

"Hello Veneziano."

"England!" Said nation flinched at the sudden squeal, causing him to move the phone away until the noise died down enough to bring it back.

"Would you like to come over for tea?" England blurted out quickly, his face burning red. Sure he had to speak before the Italian did, otherwise who knew how long it would take for him to talk and by then he would have chickened out. It was better to get it done quickly.

A soft "Ve~" sounded through the phone before a light laugh followed up and the quieter tone of Veneziano's voice was a relief from the loud noise earlier, "Sounds fun~ When is it?"

"Would tomorrow work?"

The anticipation of this entire call was wracking his nerves something fierce. It would take an entire kettle of Earl Gray before they calmed and he could do any work.

The low Italian chatter on the other end had England shuffling his feet as he listened to the differences between the two halfs as they spoke to each other. The anger he could here in Romano's voice already had him thinking those plans were shot and he was preparing himself to be let down.

"Sorry about that~ Romano says it's okay~!"

"P-pardon?" England blinked, thinking for sure he was going to be let down because Romano, but once again the Southern halfs' acceptance short-circuited his brain.

"Romano says it's okay to go over! See you around noon England~"

The nation barely felt the phone being removed from his slackened grip after having stood there for a good few minutes listening to the dial tone with a slack jaw.

"He said yes."

* * *

><p>The following day left England jittery. He had gone about setting everything up and making very much edible scones thank you very much. Of course, his brothers stayed to make sure he didn't overdo it and didn't leave the house until Veneziano was due to arrive within half an hour.<p>

It was 11:50 on the dot when the cheerful voice of the Northern half sounded at the front of his home.

"I'm out back!" England called as he finished setting down the plate of scones and everything for the tea.

He had luckily just set down the kettle when a body collided with his.

"England~! It's great to see you again~"

"Pleasure seeing you again as well, come, tea's ready." England chuckled as he helped Veneziano sit.

The two nations spent the afternoon drinking tea and eating scones, England beaming at the Italians compliments of his scones. They also filled some of the silence with small talk about daily happenings; the Northern half even getting England to make rude comments about some of the other nations as he did the same.

The afternoon ended on a good note, promises being made to have tea together again at another time.

England was shocked once again when Veneziano leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek, his own face darkened by a blush before he quickly said good-bye and rushed away.

Still trying to process what just happened, England waved as he watched Veneziano hop into his brothers' car and drive off.

A few minutes more passed before he was awoken from his daze by his brothers showing up again, Ireland singing some drunken Irish song, even though it was obvious he wasn't drunk.

"And that's strike two!" Wales crooned as he twirled around England. Said nation just groaned and slammed his head into the nearest object, which just happened to be a wall.


	3. Part 03

One of England's massive brows twitched as Wales continued to croon at him across from the table. The nation was starting to grate on England's nerves as he continued. Scotland and Ireland weren't any better either! Though Scotland didn't tease as much as Ireland did, and the older was more for helping England succeed in his endeavors for the Northern Italian.

Of course when he suggested getting someone else involved to help, as he could only do so much, England threw a fit. Not wanting other nations to find out about it. He had practically hissed that the three of them plus Norway and South Italy were enough people to know about what he was doing.

After he stormed off, Scotland lit another smoke, debating on whether to actually call a few that he knew, or at least hoped, wouldn't cause England any troubles. France was on the top of his list, but knowing the Frenchmen, he would try to do something extravagant. Not like he doesn't already but that's beside the point.

"Sooooo, what do we do?" Ireland asked as he looked up at the Scotsmen, who shrugged as he slipped into a chair, "What d'you two think we sh'ld do?"

"I still think we should tell others." Wales grumbled. The Scot nodded in agreement.

"If we do that, who would we even call? You heard him."

"We could call the Canada." The two stared at Scotland after the words fell out, and he just stared right back with a serious expression.

"Weeeeeell, there's only Australia and New Zealand he'd end up telling anyways. America's a brat and most likely wouldn't listen."

"Settled than, I'll call." Scotland stood and stepped out to give a call. The two just looked at each other, "Gossip."

While the three were down stairs, England and hidden away in his study in an attempt to calm down while doing some extra paperwork. It was working quite splendidly if he must say so and he was almost done with that weeks' work when his phone rang.

Blinking up at the telephone, he set down his pen and picked it up. "Yes?"

"Hey dude!"

"America. What do I owe this pleasure?"

"We got a meeting scheduled. Thought I'd let you know in case one of the others forget to tell you."

The call shortly ended after England was given the information and told which nations he was in charge of notifying, which didn't turn out to be many; just his brothers, Australia, New Zealand, and Romania.

He made quick work of letting Australia, who happened to be with New Zealand at the time, know the details before calling Romania and letting him know as well before heading down to tell his house guests.

The day of the meeting came too quickly for England who was not looking forward to it _at all._ For many reasons one of which happened to be glaring at him as he walked in; England just glared back at the Southern Italian and watched as he turned and dragged Spain away, most likely to rant.

He was slightly glad when his brothers broke away to mingle with the other nations before the meeting started, and he was just going to relax in his seat and drink some tea as he made sure he had everything in order.

England never even got to open the folder before he groaned once he spied France making his way over, the Frenchman gladly taking his seat that was always by England.

"Morning Angleterre, I happened to hear something interesting earlier."

"Morning frog, and what, pray tell, would that be?" The nation asked as he sipped his tea.

Leaning close so only England would hear, France whispered, "I hear you're courting petite Italy non?"

The following spray of tea caused the few nations nearby to grumble in irritation and move away for the time being. Gently setting down his cup, the nation turned his glare toward the other blond before hissing out,

"And where did you hear _that_ exactly?" France's answer was to simply point at a corner where England's gaze found Canada whispering, more like gossiping, excitedly with Australia and New Zealand. The three repeatedly glancing at him as they spoke together.

And now he was going to _murder_ Scotland. The only way those three would be gossiping and _staring at him_ meant that Scotland was of course involved. His face turned red in anger when he noticed them motioning India over and the even went! They were also on his murder list.

"So you've managed to by-pass his Southern half, congrats. Have you gone on any dates?" England blinked and stared at France, confused as why he was beaming and asking.

"Not…exactly. Why do you want to know?"

"You two are adorable of course. And this is such a large change from when he would run in fear of you. Oh, I know these wonderful places that you two could go~ Nice atmosphere, dim lighting, wonderful food and wine a-"

A hand slapped itself over France's mouth. "Shut. Up. France."

"You are _not_ setting up anything for either of us. We can deal with things perfectly fine without anyone else helping."

That was thankfully the end of the conversation. England knew that if the meeting hadn't started just then, that they would be arguing and France's habit of annoying him as quick as a flick of a switch would have ended up physical. He wanted to avoid any fights if at all possible.

The first half of the meeting surprisingly passed with only a few interruptions but stayed its course, allowing the nations to stretch and enjoy their full break this time around.

Unfortunately England didn't get that leisure as America had quickly bounded up to him and asked for a word with a few other nations. At least it was only Russia and China that also wanted a word, though why they decided to choose an empty room down the hall raised his curiosity.

"Alright, what do you three want?"

The three just looked at each other, China putting up his hands and backing away to take a seat on a chair to indicate he wasn't adding any input or at least starting the conversation.

"It's about Italy!" America finally blurted out, a sheepish grin pulling at his lips as he started to fidget under his previous care-givers gaze.

"And that matters to me why? You can easily go to Germany or Japan, or even his brother if it deals with him."

"We can't do that! It deals with you! I mean, uh."

"He kept glancing at you comrade."

"Exactly! And we figured you guys might be up to something together but we -"

"You!" China quickly cut in with a glare at the American.

"Okay, _I_ wanted to make sure you weren't making a mistake with whatever you two are doing."

England rubbed the bridge of his nose, "It's called _dating_ America. And I know exactly what I'm doing."

"Yeah, but, are you sure? I mean there's so much he honestly kinda sucks at. And there's the problems between you two and-and uh."

"What America is trying to say is, you and Italy may not be compatible and Italy is kind of dumb. He does not see you two capable of making it work."

"That's a lie!"

Barely five minutes had passed and England really _was not_ interested in listening to America and his thoughts on who he decided to pursue. So he turned to Russia and China,

"What are your thoughts on this? I'll deal with you soon America."

China was the first to speak, going straight to the point, "I honestly don't care aru. You like him, he likes you. If you work, you work. The other nations can keep quiet and let it all be."

"It's your choice comrade."

The Brit turned his gaze back to America, "America. Give me a straight answer as to why you don't seem to be happy about this arrangement."

"It's not that I'm unhappy about it. But really, dude, there's so much that could go wrong. I mean with how you guys have acted before and not to mention what his allies could do if they found out. Come on! He's an idiot too."

"I already know that! I know he's an idiot, he's clumsy, picky about his food, a crybaby, and runs away from fights."

England took a breath and continued, "But he's also kind, intelligent if you give him a chance, and someone I'm willing to stick by until he's done with me."

The other three nations blinked, the short silence being broken by America, "Okay than. Didn't know that, but why not? I just hope he lets you down easy if anything happens."

England scoffed a laugh, "Silly lad. I doubt Italy would do anything. Now let's get heading back."

England sighed in relief as they headed back, he was almost positive that America would have been completely against it but he surprisingly wasn't; which was a bonus in his book.

The rest of the meeting continued with few interruptions, though the Brit couldn't help but notice that both Italians were missing and Spain kept glancing at him. France wasn't as subtle; he outright slid a sheet that said _'We need to talk after the meeting'_ which only caused his confusion to grow.


	4. Part 4

When the meeting did finally end, England remained rooted to his seat, waiting for France to move as the room cleared out. When the Frenchman finally decided to move, the majority of the room was empty and he was almost knocked into the table when Spain swung an arm around his neck.

"Amigo," Spain addressed England, "Do you know why Romano and Italy aren't here? Or why they left in such a hurry earlier?"

"Spain, I was about to talk to him about that." France cut in, removing the Spanish mans' arm from England's shoulders so he could talk to the Brit without his friend crowding around. England crossed his arms, not liking the drawling tone of France's voice and not wishing for the first time that his brothers stayed. But those bastards left, a questioning glare being aimed at him from Scotland as they left.

"Now, England, did you do something? Since they indeed left in a hurry and little Roma looked quite angry about something." France questioned, blue eyes gazing unwavering at England.

The brit huffed, "Not that I recall. I haven't even had the chance to speak to Italy before the meeting or during the break." When he said that, a glare was aimed at America who just raised his hands in surrender but not without mumbling a smart comment back.

It quickly grew to an argument once England lunged out of his seat at the American. As the small group started to argue, a revelation caused China's eyes widened in shock, "Oh dear." Striding quickly up to the group the older nation coughed to get their attention.

"If I may interrupt," Assuring they were paying attention and separated from continuing any physical violence, China turned toward England. "I recall something during America's confrontation toward you early."

The blond nation raised a brown and inclined his head to urge the other on,

"Italy heard what we said aru."

England's jaw dropped in shock and horror. Shit shit shit. If that was true than Veneziano probably didn't even hear what England said after before running to Romano. And he was so very, very dead if that was true.

Burying his face in his hands, he kneeled down to avoid falling, great just bloody great. Heaving a sigh through his shaky breaths, England slowly rose, nodding to France as the other helped him stand and balance.

"Alright then, I must be headed off. I have a Scotsman to talk to and an apology to form. Farewell." Bidding them goodbye, he gathered his items and left. First stop, Scotland's. The older nation would know what to do…hopefully.


End file.
